


That Time Conan Spent The Night In A Yakuza Clan Compound

by anoldaccount



Category: Gokusen - All Media Types, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Gen, yankumi has no chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:17:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoldaccount/pseuds/anoldaccount
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AKA the three-A.M. crossover that nobody needed OR deserved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Time Conan Spent The Night In A Yakuza Clan Compound

**Author's Note:**

> I was poking at my stack of to-be-continued fic ideas and then skipped out to reread Gokusen. This happened.

Conan jolted to stare at the door as it was kicked straight off its hinges, then ducked behind the table for cover. He bit off a curse when it grazed the bandages on his still-sore head. The officers nearby became conspicuously absent, but didn't reach for any sidearms, just goggled expectantly from around doorways or over the edges of desks.

 

The words "Geez, you went too far again, Yankumi--" drifted lazily around the bespectacled woman who stood there in a pose reminiscent of something he'd see in a Kamen Yaiba episode.

 

"How dare they falsely accuse my precious student!" She bellowed.

 

"It's already been cleared up." said the man behind her, rolling his eyes. "Slow down and listen sometime."

 

Heart pounding, Conan stood warily and took a deep breath.

 

"Yankumi!" said the cleared suspect in question, brightening. "You should meet this kid! He's the one who sorted things out with the fuzz! He did this thing where he was like--" The teen's voice pitched to a painful falsetto. "A-re-re? What's this?-- and then he found stuff and when the guy had a gun on me, and then was all like 'who are you' he did that thing like you do and then--" More serious-voiced this time, "Edogawa Conan, detective." For some reason the woman twitched at that. "And then he did the soccer thing and the guy, man, the blood was all over his face."

 

To his own very sharp recall, he hadn't made any of the dramatic poses at the time. Well. Maybe the pointing. A little.

 

"Ahaha," he chirped as the actual adults stared at him, "Samejima-niichan is really giving me too much credit. My name is Edogawa Conan, miss! It's nice to meet you!" He bowed and wished, at least a little, that he was positioned to give a discreet kick in the shins.

 

"So cute and polite! But with a fiery spirit!" She held balled up fists to her face, eyes sparkling, and did people even do that outside of cartoons. What. "My name is Yamaguchi Kumiko! It's a pleasure to meet you, Edogawa-kun!"

 

The man side-eyed him in a way that made the hair on the back of his neck prickle. "Sawada Shin." If possible, he looked at Conan even more critically. "We've met before."

 

Right. Superintendent Sawada's son, who'd reluctantly turned up at a police ball and lurked sullen in the corner. Rumors had been that he was working toward becoming a yakuza lawyer, if anyone really did that, because he was dating the yakuza heiress who'd been his high school...homeroom...teacher...

 

He glanced back at the woman and started to sweat bullets.

 

"I'm in your debt for saving my precious student!" she said, bright. "Oh, but where are your parents?"

 

"I'm going to meet up with them afte--" he started.

 

"He was taking the trains alone all the way to meet a friend in Osaka, and got sidetracked by the murder!" said Samejima, talking over him.

 

"Oh no! But it's getting late, and he's hurt! He needs somewhere to stay!" She placed her fists on her hips. "My home is open to anyone who helps out one of my precious students!"

 

Sawada nudged her. "I don't think that's a very good idea." he tried to say, looking at her meaningfully.

 

"I can just stay at the station until--" Conan tried to say, watching her twitch again at the idea.

 

Right on time, his stomach made a terrible noise, because damn grade-schooler bodies and their needs for things like food.

 

Some dramatics later where one officer managed to hiss to him "It's fine, it's her, just don't," and he was sort of swept up in her current on the way through a neighborhood where, okay, frankly, everyone looked like a hard-eyed killer. Past black cars that were way too reminiscent of something out of some of his nightmares and into a huge old-styled house that screamed 'clan compound'.

 

It really would have been great to find out from the officer what not to do.

 

"Hey, ojou, who's the brat?" rumbled a huge, heavily scarred man leaning down and well into his personal space to eyeball him before being headbutted away.

 

"Tetsu!" she said sharply. "Don't scare him! He saved the life of one of my precious students, and will be treated as an honorable guest! Go lay out the guest futon!"

 

"Ojou! I'm so sorry!" the man barked back from hands and knees. He did a ridiculously melodramatic bow to Conan until he recieved a chirpy "Uh, it's okay, mister--" and found himself proceeding past a number of terrifying men in various forms of vastly outdated wear.

 

It was like something out of a terrible TV drama, except they all carried themselves in a way that said they were hardened to violence, and wasn't it going to be great to be somewhere not-there as soon as possible?

 

"Yankumi," said Sawada impatiently, "you need to listen to me--"

 

"Oh, you're home, Kyo-san!" said Yamaguchi-sensei.

 

"Who's the brat?" asked the apparent Kyo-san. Refraining from invading his personal space apparently merely netted him a lecture, as Yamaguchi-sensei launched into an even more heavily dramatized version of what she'd heard from Samejima on the walk before they'd parted ways. It wasn't like-- well, no, wait, he had ridden his skateboard head-on into traffic and let it roll under an oncoming car while he ran over the hood of it. Okay. So. Maybe adrenaline did funny things to him while he was on the chase. Why hadn't anyone tried to tell him these things?

 

By the end an entire party of grown men were sobbing over the retelling as he stared in bewilderment. A huge slap to the back knocked him over and he was carefully dusted off and set to his feet.

 

"So young to have such balls!" bawled one. "So willing to face the fuzz down in the name of honor, even as the apprentice of Mouri Kogoro!"

 

Kyo-san froze for a moment, looking terrifyingly enraged, and then started to bawl harder. "The own son of that Mouri Kogoro, my old rival in the fuzz! With enough honor to save our ojou!"

 

He pictured the two facing off in that time, back when that awful white suit would have been appropriate, and tried to fight down a semi-hysterical giggle. Just until the morning. He only had to survive until the morning, and then he'd be at Hattori's, and all this would be a terrible dream.

 

Sawada carefully ushered him away from the scene. "They'll keep going like that until dinner. If you want to say your head's hurting and you need to lay down, they might leave you alone. Or she'll insist on fussing over you. But you're safe enough here."

 

Looking at him, Conan opened his mouth, closed it again, and then opened it again.

 

The man sighed. "I shouldn't have to tell you that it would be a bad idea to repeat anything you overhear."

 

There was a heart-stopping moment as Conan scrambled for a nervous little kid laugh, and didn't even have to try to hit the ridiculous pitch. "I'm just a kid, nii-chan! I don't know what you're talking about!"

 

The staredown continued.

 

"You're exactly as bad an actor as she is." Sawada informed him.

 

Conan thought back to the dramatic recreation-of-a-recreation they'd just walked away from, and fought the urge to hide behind the nearest opportune obstacle.

 

Some part of him poked back enough for him to blurt "...Really?"

 

Sawada smirked. "Yes."

 

"Damn."

 

____

Then, of course, came the business with the man threatening the bar hostesses, an entire class of juvenile delinquents escorting Conan to Osaka, and sometime later the time that Yankumi punched the Kaitou Kid in the stomach, and Kyo-san and Mouri spent the entire heist chasing each other before being found passed out over a game of majohng that arose from some kind of a temporary truce. But those are tales for another time.

**Author's Note:**

> I STARTED writing up the entire case, and the bar hostesses incident, and planning everything up to Osaka, and decided that maybe it was best to leave this as it is. 
> 
> Alternately, I had the mental image of a case where Conan clears Yankumi or Shin of murder and ends up somehow endearing himself through legend to the entirety of the Kuroda clan's connections, although it's kind of dubious because he's likely put at least a few of them behind bars and developed his own weird and hellish legends through the jail system. Also of all the twitching that would take place over former-Shirokin Kudo. And possibly, in my wildest and most stupid crossover dreams, the distant future resulting teamup of Gokusen 'verse yakuza with the police against the Black Org. 
> 
> Thankfully, the world will never have that inflicted on it.


End file.
